Saturday, June 30, 2012

Warriors of Anonymity

An enlightened mind and unseen face
holds the power to the world's fate

Known and seen by divine beings
not comprehended by our combined needing


New world order, old world rule
still the same faces of something quite new


A battle is raged on the ethereal plane
created by networks, servers, computers and fame 

And we are nothing more than roles we play
and most of us can't see the dawn to the next day

The power we hold is in our hands
money is corruptible in the hands of men

but we who have the nameless face
is blessed with the curse to heal the human race

We are all, then nothing
Here and not there
No matter where you don't look, we are everywhere

And the games we play are serious indeed
Imps in the cog of the wheel that spawns global greed

All that have the concept of everything
Fear what you can't have
The truth of nothing

And those that have nothing is more than you can fathom
be scared of the faceless ones the shadowy phantom

Thursday, June 28, 2012

The Love Star's Oracle

I see distant cosmic radiation of parallel energies

Glowing pulsating masses of fusion
that does nothing but send my
high minded subconscious into the next dimension 

Radiant does not describe the everlasting
streams of stardust and blue dwarfs
that guides my heart in sub-spacial waves

I saw through my naked eye
the form of a nuclear nebula
and felt a new zodiac in the breakers a new universe

Creation, no more infinite and responsible as destruction or resurrection 

It moves me, it moves through me
this surge of light-speed
transforming from matter into subatomic particles

My heart awaits
I am here in the center of creation
Do you dare deny the nature of the universe itself

Do you dare fly in the face of emptiness to reach me

If so, give me a sign
and I shall move all that is heaven
and rewrite all that quantum

No more relative and rational space
Begone and allow imaginary variables
to give me what I wish the most

Infinite possibility

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

More than words on a page: Roughhousing

I don't know what happened the last night. It is all a blur really. Funny how things seems to turn out that way. From the time I stepped into this sleaze motel things went from bad to worse. Mark called the police because of his precious machine. The thing he loves more than anything else. There is no mistake that before me or any trick bitch that he shags with, his first love will always be that damn computer. It does not matter what computer it is there has been so many.

The policeman told us we had to separate which is not a bad thing at this point. I am sure he will make his way back to Sandy's place now that the "lying nigger" is not with him. He grabbed up his broken piece of love and left out the door. Alone, I am use to it I guess. He is always somewhere and like a good little puppy I say yes to my white master signifying that I am ok with his actions. 

A door closes and a window opens is the saying right? Now that Mark left there a sense of relief and a feeling of anger. I have to curb this emotion somehow and there is nothing like finally getting the sex you want from someone that halfway finds you decent. I decided to see what Billy was doing. Actually, he has given me so many names it is not even funny. I will take the side of intelligence for a moment and say that Billy is not his real name but I have been talking to him before I came for this visit in East Point. He said he wants and I am not denying him the privilege. Besides, it will be interesting to see what Billy is all about. 
Now we have the waiting game. I am one of the few people that can party and be on time for an appointment. I am sure he will  be late so I have plenty of time to clean myself up. I wonder what Billy is like. I know he is a pretty horny guy when he is on the prowl. I remember when I talked to him on the phone one day while in Aiken and he was on a date waiting for a guy to come downstairs. He wanted to talk dirty on the phone and I have to admit, I am at my sexual best when I am partying. I don't really feel open when I am not doing any tina. 

Wow, he is three hours late. I guess that is better than not answering the phone at all. At least I got some rest I don't want to seem like some sort of animal when he shows up. I wonder how Mark is doing like I really have to be concerned. He always lands on his feet and give little care about me now that his toy is broken. 

knock, knock, knock

He's here. At least he is a man of his word. I almost stumped my toe while trying to get the door open. My head was down at first. The sunlight almost blinded me. I looked up and he is very nice looking. Highlighted hair, about my height wearing these gym pants and sandals. He was definitely nice looking. It was me I was more worried about. 

"Hi, your Grant right?" He asked me.
"Yeah come on in."

I had no choice but to compliment him. "You are nice looking."

"You are not bad yourself." He said

I have a feeling that he is not a big talker. He grabs my head and kisses me. He is being very rough with me. He is turning me around and rubbing his cock on my ass. He pushes me on the bed and jumps on me. He has me in a bear hug and not letting go. He is wrestling with me on the bed. This is something I never expected. He is a beast. Someone to finally match me on level. He is taking off my shirt with such urgency and passion. I barely can get my hands through the sleeves.

Smack!

He is slapping my chest with his bare hands. Now he is pounding my chest like he is hoping it would hurt but no matter how he hits me, this body was made to take pain. I tried to get up but he pushes me back on bed. He is ripping off my pants. I guess no one can ever say that this guy is boring .

Sunday, June 24, 2012

More than words on a page: Danger by the roadside

"Get out of here before I kill you! What you doing car blocking people man?" That's what he said.

My heart pumps with fear as my head is turning from side to side. Shock runs through my body. I never expected anyone to want to kill me for standing on a street corner. I damn sure don't know why he wants to hurt me but I wish Keith would hurry up. Who am I kidding he is not coming. This was all a plan to get me far away from him and Mark or whatever the hell they are doing. How did I end up in this situation where I have to relay on my enemy for help? Keith does not want me anywhere near where he lives and this whole fiasco proves it. 


"Man you better start walking this direction!" Is what he shouted as he pointed south down the divided street.


"Hurry up mother fucker!" 


I started walking. Faster and faster I sped up my pace as he follows behind me in that four door dark colored sedan. I am so worn out from partying with Mark and not having anything to eat. If Keith would have just let me in the door when I went back for my cell phone, Mark and I would have had a chance to talk instead of me being without communication or anyway to get in contact with anybody. I am sure they probably find this funny while they are having an tina filled orgy where ever they may be. 


"And you keep walking mother fucker and don't you stop. If I catch you here again I will kill you!"


Those words ring in my ears as fear keeps my body going. I am completely vulnerable. I thought about being abrasive and cunning but I do not have the energy to come up with a plan or to fight off this aggressive asshole if he attacks me.

I trying to think of anyway to not get killed. A cement divider in the road. If I can cross it he won't have time to catch me because he has to go far up the road to the light to turn around. It is worth a shot. He is slowing down but this thug can shoot me at any time and I am not going to die today. He has already vowed to kill me. Back and forth my eyes look in anticipation for the right moment to breakaway so I can cross the lanes of traffic. Finally I see it. I ran with all the energy I had left to the cement divider. 

"Where you going mother fucker!" The thug shouted.

I crawled over the divider in time. His car just past the point where I made it over so he must be making his way to the light to turn around. I have no time to waste. I have to cross this street to the other side.Then I climb up the hill into the woods where he can't find me.

No traffic is coming. God help me please. Give me the strength to get away. 


I took a deep breath and exhaled. I'm running with all the energy I can muster to the other side of the road. I grabbed the branch of the first tree I could hold onto and climbed the straw covered hill with all my might. I made it half way up but I did not stop until I was certain I was out of sight from the road. With every strong breath that comes from my exhausted body I counted and hoped that he did not see where I entered into the woods. Finally, I climbed to the top of the hill to find myself in a small abandoned corporate complex parking-lot.

Like some sort of wild animal looking for prey I am crouched down on the ground. It's silent and I don't see anybody. I made my way to the large trash dumpster and waited for a moment. Somehow I have to make my way to the structure in the middle of the parking-lot without anyone seeing me. I took another deep breath and worked my way to the right side of the building.

I see a SUV which means someone has got to be here. I knocked on the doors but my knocks went unanswered. I can't take the chance of shouting just in case someone could be in earshot. I made my way around to the other side of the building and saw another SUV. It was parked in some sort of loading space. I ducked behind it hoping that nobody saw me.

How did all this happen?  What is going? This can't be real. First I was waiting on Keith to pick me up, then this asshole said he is going to kill me. Now I find myself running for my life hiding behind buildings.

stomp, stomp, stomp


What is that sound? Sounds like someone is coming this way fast in a hurry. They're stomping their feet on the pavement so loud I can hear them coming a mile away. I crouched down behind the SUV but just enough to look through the window to see the parking lot. This young black guy shows up out of the blue with a bag in this hand. He is making his way to another dumpster at the edge of the parking.

"And good ridden mother fucker!" He said angrily as threw the bag in the dumpster. After he did that he spit on the ground and made his way back from where he came from. It was like he was spitting on someone's grave. Crazy is as crazy does and there is too many crazy people out here today.

I'm scanning the parking lot for a way out but I am trapped in. I can't go left because of that crazy fucker that just went to the dumpster might see me. I can't leave out the parking lot to the main road just in the case that other fucker that threatened my life is looking for me. My only chance is to cross the parking-lot, down the hill, cross over the railroad tracks to another complex. That should be enough distance form the where this nightmare first started.




Thursday, June 21, 2012

The power of yes

Yes, I feel you and there is no denying I'm built from you. Yes, I mean what I mean that nothing on sun's Earth can move my words once my mind has come to the fulfilling conclusion. Yes I am for , yes I do too. Yes I thought about you many time and nothing still makes my mind distracted in such daring ways.

Yes you are right, yes love your sight. Yes I see the what others did not want to in the star's night. Yes there is no contest, yes you are the best and I would not have anything any other way.

Yes I heard your every word and yes I took them to memory for no other words have hurt and healed me in quite the same way. Yes I love, yes I adore you and yes forever I say your name only if dawns allows me to open my eyes for no matter the power my love is truth of nature still dwarfs me.

Yes I understand what you mean and yes I am not scared to admit that yes is so powerful only because no meant something was beyond my power of yes. Limits, boundaries and conditions are the no to the divine yes in the linear now and I see the choice of me.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The family that lies together

I spy, I  feel a lie
A family that conspires
Is a family that cries

I choose not to play
A game that has no end to the days

Always in character
for no one's benefit
The young dead bastard

I got enough of this method
For a lover of my life
Another unconditional deficit

Always in the mix
Always a step ahead
Always in my business
Don't ask for the wishes in my head

I keep my mouth closed...Talking does nothing more than make you vulnerable exposed


Left alone is better still.. if you try and hurt to bend my will


And I don't wish to hear the words of someone that wish to lie on the verge


Is it better to stay or stand still
A truth stays put
A lie runs at will

I hear the calling of my anger
I slice through space time to quench the dark matter

How many tons of TNT does it take to rearrange my anatomy

Meaning, I was just over my dread until a family that lies is a family not said






Inward Beauty

Now your outward beauty is much admire
But your inward beauty is more desired

Your spirit, your mind and your personality
Makes you a beauty force in a powerful trinity

How do I know this, I will tell you the reason
I know my own self like I know the change in the seasons







To know your own spirit is the first step
It's a must if you want to spirits to connect

Well let me explain some things my spirit felt from you and you tell me if these things aren't true

When you walk in a room people begin to smile
They can sense your energy coming from a mile

You become quiet and isolated with troubled
So I stay away and support you in a way that is subtle

You believe in being thy neighbor and being a brother's keeper
But you have the ability to know a deceiver

The wonders of the world are open and wide
Your eyes are open and from you they can't hide

Your stern and disciplined but that's ok
Strong foundations are paved that way

Those are a few things
I have one more question for you
Why do you not believe those things to be true

You say that you are ugly
Did someone tell you that
I need to find that person so I can pay them back

You say that people don't like you
I don't understand
There's a crowd cheering for you
A stand full of fans

You say you have not accomplished your goals in life
Wasn't your goal to do what was right

You have become sad, sullen and down on yourself
Somewhere in the past you put the real you on the shelf

Well, I spoke from my spirit
I spoke from my mind
Please don't skip the last parts of these lines

Don't listen to anyone and what they have to say
Lots of times they want to block and hinder your way

And that goes for me
I'm no exception
You are the only one with the power to change your perception

Don't be scared to discover every part of you
And remember these words
To thy own self be true

Now, go and start your journey
You are the only one who can
Remember no matter what
Your inner beauty will stand

The freedom of me


I just want to be me, free and all the things in-between. The things I do not see is not the fault of my eyes but of my being that cannot realize that spiritual is most important of all freedoms. What is freedom anyway? An indigent servant is not a slave but a man that wants to be free from the debt of the world. Am I a slave to freedom personified?

Freedom never told me about the sorrow or scars of pain upon my being that comes with the responsibility of woe. I never asked.  When I looked at freedom I told him that anyplace is better than where I am in my soul and he allowed me to move earth and space to see freedom in the face.


I see beyond getting a little freedom. Is that really freedom when the task masters move the fence back? Jump over the fence and be your own person if you want to. We will see how free your ass is when you are standing alone out on the ledge with only one choice in your good graces.

Freedom stands with brave men who are not brave because they did not feel fear. They are brave because they acted in spite of it. Is my bravery calculated in the unconditional payment one is obligated to when on the path of freedoms run?

When I am beaten down I am free, when I am unbalanced I am free, when I am not whole I am free. When all these conventions of chaos comes to complete form I turn to Lords of Order, for all these elements together; broken to whole makes up the freedom of me.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Unleashed (Unconditional Mix)

I'm pissed....I'm tired this round
Straws are getting cut and camels are going down

I use my power and use my gift
But to tell you the truth I am just fucking pissed

So I will give you what you want in pure unconditional form
And Katrina is nothing compared to this storm

And because I care about you.. I will destroy all you think you know
Just to be sure that you really didn't know

Now, what goes around comes around is true
But you're so blinded, do you know where the hell are you
If you don't know the go around is throw and you are in the come around
But I am sure that you already knew

And since you knew that I am sure you realized
That between coming and going you affect other people's lives

and if you are not happy, not even content with your life
I wonder who you hurt to cause so much strife

Did I make you made, you thought you were good people
Last time I checked those results belong to evil people

Why don't you use your logic
Why don't you sure your brain
Emotions get in the way
I know it will be a strain

Speaking of in the way I already proved you wrong
Didn't you hear it
In the truthful verses of this poem

Oh yes, to make sure your lack of knowledge is evident
Have you ever looked up the words perception and ignorance

Now I am not going to tell you how to change your life
I know what it takes to win this fight

I know the answer, I have seen it in action
But I am being spiteful and that is my reaction

You see, when I tried to tell you before
You told me to be quiet and say no more

And further more you thought I was crazy
Insulting me
Thinking my gifts were lazy

And I come to walk a path to give you the equations to solve your spiritual math

But when I tried you thought I was funny
See my eggs are sunny side up and your eggs are runny

So I come to the decision that you don't deserve the knowledge I come to splurge

I will never tell you....The moment has past
I will never tell you...Now matter how many times you ask

Now some of you thinking I am wrong and some of you reading the lines of this poem

If I don't give wholeheartedly.. Isn't that truly a lack of generosity

Now for some of you with lessons to find
the answers you need were between the lines

And for those of you that did not get the lesson
Farewell and God speed... You have to guess on your blessing

Outward Beauty

I come with something more simple for you to believe
That your outward beauty is something that you don't conceive

Your eyes are liar and the mirror is not true
For I have spent a great deal of time observing every inch of you

Spare me time and give me occasion
I will describe your outward beauty with just provocation

Your skin is soft and easy to touch
You eyes have a color I envy very much

I love the way you protect me from harm
And feel your heat when you hold me in your arms

Sensual shoulders when you lay on your front
With strong legs that curve very much

A picture of beauty I am pleased to see and honored by the fact you share your body and beauty with me

Now I know it is hard to share my view
Especially when the past has images it throws at you

I can't share something I have never seen
The person from the past and all other persons in-between

The person I see is the person in front of me

So before I end the line of this poem a bit of advice I want you to know

Your eyes are liars and the mirror is not true'
Stop asking them for advice they do not support you

If you wish to know your outward beauty
I will be more than happy to share with you truly

Never be ashamed of what you see
Your outward beauty is boundless and should be set free

Bryan's Prayer

How many words will I need for God to hear me and take heed

A friend indeed, a friend in need and I am powerless when I say the word please

So the only thing I can do is slow down time
or slow down this poem to make sense of the rhyme

A man that has helped me countless in ways 
There is no such thing as the end of his days 

Introspection at its best I look inside 
the world he instilled with shining pride

Because the cosmos will not allow 
a star to be destroyed in the moving quasar 

Or with a wave of my hands to move a sky 
and open  up the sun  to steal the energy from inside

I would rule a thousand suns if I thought for a moment 
that his life would be spared by my past atonement 

Anger and energy is all in one
But I separated the constant to dispel the nonsense 

I plucked out a black hole and control gravity
To gather all I can of photon light energy 

I shifted the tectonic plates of the earth sphere 
and changed the bandwidth of the stratosphere 

Now blue the heaven is my own color 
I choose grey to match the eyes of another

For when I look into his eyes
I see my favorite color...grey every time

So life, God and universe I ask
That you recognize his life is worth 10,000 of my past



Saturday, June 16, 2012

I take it back

For indeed I saw with my open eye
The deceit, the pain and all of the lies

And I am not angry nor am I dead
But thanks to you I overcame my dread

But no thanks to you.. do I write a poem that seems half way through

So I take back all of my gifts that you may feel time space rifts

I take back my power, my pain and my love
Hopefully forgiveness comes from heaven above

I take back my words, my thought and my feelings
Use your own power to gain your own healing

I take back my care, my concern and my tears
You have the strength to handle your own fears

I take back my God, my prayer and my sight
You need only one to win your own fight

I take back my pen, my ink and my paper
You have stolen enough talent from my favor

I take back my time, my effort and my sorrow
Come back again when I have no tomorrow

I take back light, my grace and my curse
I take back the day I said your name first

I take back my miles, my smiles and my scars
I am proud of every last one of them on my arms

Now I take back the last thing you took from me
I take back time, space and my energy

You need nothing more from me
Treat me like you always have, a distant memory

Friday, June 15, 2012

Love's Stance

I stand with my left foot behind my right in fortified union with my soul. My balance is unmeasured and my spirit is welcoming to the thought of a opponent that is worthy to handle me. I see my hands move faster than lightening and my heart beats courage and faith for my skill have been practiced. My technique is striking and my defenses are fetching, I could not be more ready for the battle to pursue me.

It seems that trouble always have a way of finding me and I am hoping that it finds me this time as well. Huh,,. I am sorry to smirk but for what some calls a battle, I call the never-ending cycle of an emotion that drives the very forces of change. It also does justice to man's true virtue and with crazy genius moves me in true feeling.

I said true feeling. The honest chakra which is my energy and my chi. I look inside myself with wise introspection to know that the most worthiest of opponents have always been in front of me but it takes a loving nemesis to bring out the warrior life wants me to be.

My eyes.... I don't have to use my eyes to rage the war that returns me to the golden heavens. I can feel my adversary from a distance and I am wishing for him to find me. It is my turn to see the ardent defeat of failure for I will conquer the one thing that stands in my way to glorious victory. I throw myself on my sword and use no shield to protect me.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

The soul of my feet

I walked a mile and my shoes are already worn. I took off my shoes to see the leather is already torn.

I did not know the holes in my souls can keep my in constant agony, and without money to buy more shoes I am in constant epiphany

The sun beats down and moving does nothing more than make me darker brown

An ugly sight, you say the least, but my blackness in color is your avenue to defeat

I can overcome the pain, the heat and the norm and all you can do is feel the wrath of life's scorn

Do you want to me to succeed or claim defeat... Do I get a new pair of shoes so I can move to a different beat

What is it with shoes and the need of their need... My ancestors have been barefoot despite the world's greed

$100 or more to pick the right breed, a slave to my feet which is slow to sew a seed

Do you believe I have lost the keys or I ran into a hornet's nest with more than 1009 bees

Do you wonder if my emotions are under siege or my frame of mind can't stand up to being free

No need to wonder any longer because my shoes are now gone but my feet has gotten stronger




Tuesday, June 12, 2012

The cursed

Four years old a child and dead...four years old a child shot in the head

Crazed notions of gay symmetry 
Perplexed bi-polar religion killed him. .there is no divine mystery 

Sins of the father, insanity of the mind
Delusions of a lord, evil to find 

North Carolina is such a long way from heaven
and Hell is such a long way from the local 7-11

But somehow the locations got mixup and man's garage has a dead child face up

Packed in a suitcase..... I forgot he shot off his face
No justice today, Moses got off the death row race

That is what he calls himself, the bright eyed Hebrew religious murder of the decade
That has 5 wives and 0 gay sways 

All in the attempt to cleanse his flock of the gay 4 yo boy that was deemed bad stock

But how do you know at 4yo if gay is your story to be told 

I guess its possible but not for a child that sits in a grave with a heavenly smilie 

Words short and sweet.. nothing to write about.. Jadon rest in peace

Monday, June 11, 2012

Fluidity Emotion (Moonlight Sonata Mix)

Grey skies and clouds and all the beauty that comes with the the power of the rain I pray you bestow upon me comfort and reasoning. Am I the only one that the rain cries for when I am sad?  Does the beautiful moon's light shines aura ultra violet rays of distant colors that allow peeks of starlight clears on the array of nature?

Spoken words that Juliet said an inconstant orb cannot hear. Why speak to nothingness if no one has the ability to understand what you have to say?  Or could it be that I don't know how to speak and the music of the night rain moves the soul of Beethoven and I.

Rain you bitchy mistress of ardent wishes that do nothing more than sooth my soul, I asked you a long time ago to cover this world in water with no ark none of each animal. Do what needs to be done for my understanding even if that means to cover the heads of all that know more than me. I just want to finally understand.

Do you hear night music now oh great creator of attractive sounds? No one said that natural symphony did not calm the raged heart or savage breeding. The music of the rain hitting the ground is more than tears can bare. So you see I hear you, I want to hear you, I believe I hear you,  it is I that have no tongue beyond the glistening sparkling drops of music that fall upon my head and filled within my heart.


Sunday, June 10, 2012

Fictional Flash Story "More Than Words On A Page"


I didn’t ask to be on the ground in the heart of East Atlanta.  I look like some cracked-out zombie with no gauge of hope or no desire of wanting to return from which I came. 

I know I am a fool to wait out here for a man that cares very little about what happens to me.  The most recent events still slide up and down my brain and my wish is to not allow the thoughts to leave.  I am more addicted to the anger than I am to the drug. I do not wish to forget the memories that Mark put me through yesterday.

Before I came into town he said I would not have to worry about a place to stay.  Sunday I was supposed to spend the night at Mark’s house but Sam, the owner of the house, mysteriously turned into a racist and had a problem with me being there all of a sudden.
  
Lydia, a friend of Mark’s, drove us over to his place.  She is nothing but bad news. Lydia has a tendency to leave a bad taste in your mouth and gives you nothing but bullshit when she speaks.

I was asked to stay in the van with Lydia while Mark spoke with Sam inside the house about me staying there for the night. Next thing I knew I heard screaming from the house.  Mark hurried out of the door with Sam close behind him. 

Sam yelled out the door “Take that lying nigger with you.” 


Even now, when I think about happened yesterday, I never would have thought those words could come out of his mouth.  I have been there for Sam since his boyfriend threw him down the stairs and he was a sketchy mess.   I recall a skinny tweaked out frail guy walking back and forth between some entrance way and his truck. I still remember our greeting when we first met. 

“Hey man, are you ok? You have to be careful.  The police are out here and you are looking sketchier than hell.” I said

He spoke softly “Yeah man, I’m fine.”

I was surprised that Sam was able to squeak those words out being in the condition he was in.  

It is interesting reminiscing about times that are easily forgotten by others. People tend to let go of hurt they have caused and the hurtful always pray for forgiveness, but not for judgment.

Reminiscing has to wait.  I see Mark finally has graced me with his presence. It is only two hours past my emergency call for help. 
The lack of urgency for my emergency requests is always common.  This is what he calls love.

“You alright Grant?  You want something to eat?”

I see that Mark is energized and healthy after a night of partying with some random bastard.

“I don’t want anything to eat, Mark. You know what I want. I want to get high for once and have a good time.  You don’t even have to worry about what happens to me afterwards.”

Mark is looking at me as if a ghost has spoken to him.  Since he has always been a skeptic Mark would look at a ghost with a confident figment of his imagination type of stare.  The same calm cold look as if he was looking through me because he did not believe I was in front of him in the first place. “Come on Grant let’s sit down over here and talk.”

Mark would always say “Come on Grant let’s sit down and talk” when he needs to take control of a scenario. That was always his code phrase. You see, his main concern was how to get me out of his hair; that way I am no longer a bother to him.  I, the crack whore Mark artificially created can be erased with the same stroke of his hand that put me into existence. 

“So what do you want to talk about Mark?” I said

He looks are barely sincere but he maintains his display of calm while trying to play this sick game of being rational.  He does just as much ice as I do. I see with my own eyes and I doesn’t matter how many denials he will spit out from that forked tongue of his.

“Grant, let’s talk about what you told me earlier.”

“Which part baby?  The part that I feel more helpless and hopeless at my so called home in SC than I do in any other place or the part of wanting to just overdose on the street like a common junkie so I can be out of your way?”

“You don’t believe that Grant.  What about your writing?”

“I don’t even know if I am good at it. I can’t get any help with it whatsoever.  Nobody reads what I write.  I started writing to do something with what little pitiful part of my godforsaken life I have left.  They are just words on a page. They don’t mean anything.”

I got the words coming out of my mouth, but I could not stop my feelings from exploding. Doubt, despair and depression have soaked in me and found this point as the proper time to raise hell.

“Grant, you don’t believe that. You seem to change like night and day when you party.”

“Mark, I am so tired of you saying that same shit every time you claim to want to have a serious conversation.  Here’s a news flash.  These feelings have always been in me. They didn’t just start. I’ve been angry at many things you just never cared to hear them no matter what state I’m in.”

I meant every word I said. I am frustrated at Mark’s attempt to prove himself right.  That part of him is more important than truth ever was. Mark has lied to me about anything that you can think of.  

The one thing we both agree on, is that the choices I made has allowed him to do this to me again. I have not learned my lesson.  Once again, I put myself in the position of not taking care of myself. When will I understand that Mark does not do anything unless it benefits him?  The ease with which he can discard someone is next to sociopathic.  

“So what do you want to do now, Grant.”

“Don’t worry about it.  I told you what I wanted to do.”

Mark went into his wallet and took out thirty-five dollars.  He glanced back and forth to make sure that I was not looking to see what he had in his billfold.  He insults me with such behavior. I have never stolen anything from him and he treats me like some sort of rat filth.

“This is all the money I have, so don’t ask for anymore.”

What an asshole.  I asked for a boyfriend and I get thirty-five dollars that was given in an apprehensive fashion as if I am going to steal his money. I am sure later when all the dust clears and I am back in my hopeless home, he will tell me how everything is my fault, yet he forgives me. 

Gay Superimposed

Who are you...Do you know me?
Ohhhhhh,,, your the gay superimposed bureaucracy.

Was I supposed to follow suit
As uncle tom gay individuals gives the regular gay people the boot

Am I sorry, I did not know you spoke for me
Obama maybe my president but I have my own gay speaking piece.

I can speak for myself said the stupid, young, gay, wet the behind the ears creep.

The first thing I want to say ... how come when someone offers us coffee we have to partake

That like poetry with no punctuation
Reading seems to be foreign, we must use self-narration

Which means, use your own mind to read between the lines
Do we have to believe every word our ears happen to find

Tit for that.. this for that
Obama speaks so it is our turn up to bat

And I am not trying to say hit or miss
I appreciate any curve ball that's trying being pitched
but should I be less fierce or any less pissed
Should I let down my guard because my president didn't plead the fifth

He flipped his coin and changed his bark
and you are mad at me because I am trying to hit the ball out the park

I just talk about millions, a nation inside a nation
Just because some gay people rolled over I am supposed disregard my station

 I am not saying that Obama is wrong
 are we supposed to dance because he opportunistically changed his song


Saturday, June 9, 2012

Neo-Beauty

Beauty and looks, what does it matter
I guess it bothers those broken and battered

Funny when I think about my looks for whatever sake
The one thing I don't care about is the one thing someone tries to take

Why would anybody want me to feel to sorrow for something that truly fades by the next comings morrow

I don't understand, maybe it was not meant for me to see
The physical beauty that everyone laughs at and the joke that alludes me

Could it be that my hinds sight's third eye somehow protects me

It could be that my moronic behavior gives me an advantage
Someone is trying their best to make me out to be a human savage

Lower life-form free forward thinking beyond the Barsoom planet
Don't care how they look if they walk out of the solar system without a jacket

And now, look at me... look at you
Did you really believe that I believed my physical looks is all that is true

No, though I admire the beauty of one's hyde
I crave the beauty of the one that is inside

It moves me..... what move you
Did you really want to move away from the attractive neo-truth

I see clouds of grey with beautiful words in-between
and my face is nothing more than a star's bright gleam

So silly one with beauty to destroy
Too bad you did not understand the true beauty that I enjoy




Friday, June 8, 2012

How many sticks and stones does it takes?

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me unless people out there believe the words of others. How many sticks does it takes to break my bones anyway? I mean look at me.  Some people would consider me being uglier than sin, my legs are all scared up from running away from the people with stones trying to kill me as I am trying to say sweet words in the ear of my boyfriend who by chance has words harder than sticks to bust my heart in two.

Come to think of it, I am tired of sticks and stones. If I had brain one in my head I would bring a catapult to a sticks and stones fights rather than just ordinary sticks. At least that is showing some sort of ingenuity rather than flaky emotion that no one gives a rat's butt about.

So has anyone answered my question yet? How many sticks and stones does it take to break my bones? If you can't answer that than how many words does it take to destroy my heart?  How many ill words will it take to destroy my path of feeling?

One!!

Did you say say one?  For those of you that guessed one you are absolutely correct.  Give yourself a prize of rice a roni and condolences for life in its infinite wisdom decided love is not as powerful as truth. All it takes is one great organized piece of truth to destroy a path that someone can see themselves on. So for all of you that don't understand the tripe you will get there. It takes alot more sticks and stones than you believe to get the full understanding.

DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE, JUST BELIEVE THE TRIPE