More than words on a page: Not only my story to tell

What do I do? Here I am back in a situation I told myself I would never be in again. Mark has again left to pursue whatever sin he feels and I have spent every dime I had which I take was the plan.

Why does he take pleasure in seeing me suffer from throwing up to being turned upside down.

Stop the pity or at least no time for pity. 

Cheshire Bridge is not for the faint at heart. It is also not for the unclean, not washed and very hot.

I guess I will walk toward the direction away from the hotel though I have no where to go, no way of getting there and tired as hell. Complaining is not going to help my situation and sulking is not going to improve my chances of getting home.

HEY!!

What direction is that voice coming from or am I crazy as everyone believes me to be. I was crazy to think that I would have a fun time here because nobody wants to leave me to my own devices and vices.

"What are you up to Grant?" Brighton said

I almost knocked Brighton down when I hugged him. I was so glad to see him. Out of all the people that would help me I know that he would but hell I should have known better than that. In this hard knock situation everyone has a story and it's every man for themselves. Right now, from the looks of it, he has his own hell to deal with.

"I am just being stuck as hell and wanting to go home but damn if I need a shower." I said "Can you help me out?"

"I would love to but my friend said she just got raped." He said

I did not know what to say. He was very nonchalant when he said it. I looked to the side past Brighton and saw the policewomen take this lady by the hand or at least I think she is a woman. She might be a transgender. In this scene, in this world it is hard to tell. In this place of trying to survive the best way you know how and doing what you have to,  you don't have time to judge.

People are people and for a moment my problems seemed so small. I forgot I was stuck in a place where everyone hates me. I forgot that my so-called love left me to die on the street. I forgot my pain when I saw this person who had been violated move up the ramp from the established whore house with the law by her side.

I followed Brighton back down the ramp hoping to get a glimpse of despair this woman must be feeling. I did not relish in the fact she was in pain because I can see the tears in her eyes. I don't know why I was looking so hard to the right. Maybe I wanted to see her story through the misery that she felt. To know that she is forever a part of my story and I am part of this nameless woman who feels nothing but pain.

I want so much to help her but I was not in a position to help myself. I almost wept for her but in the back of my mind, the thing I am really thinking is that the decisions we make are all equated to feel the result. You reap what you sow. I am not saying she deserves what happened to her but something tells me; just like I made the decision to be trapped distant from safety, this same woman made a choice that now I hope she can live with.

More than words on a page: Roughhousing

I don't know what happened the last night. It is all a blur really. Funny how things seems to turn out that way. From the time I stepped into this sleaze motel things went from bad to worse. Mark called the police because of his precious machine. The thing he loves more than anything else. There is no mistake that before me or any trick bitch that he shags with, his first love will always be that damn computer. It does not matter what computer it is there has been so many.

The policeman told us we had to separate which is not a bad thing at this point. I am sure he will make his way back to Sandy's place now that the "lying nigger" is not with him. He grabbed up his broken piece of love and left out the door. Alone, I am use to it I guess. He is always somewhere and like a good little puppy I say yes to my white master signifying that I am ok with his actions. 

A door closes and a window opens is the saying right? Now that Mark left there a sense of relief and a feeling of anger. I have to curb this emotion somehow and there is nothing like finally getting the sex you want from someone that halfway finds you decent. I decided to see what Billy was doing. Actually, he has given me so many names it is not even funny. I will take the side of intelligence for a moment and say that Billy is not his real name but I have been talking to him before I came for this visit in East Point. He said he wants and I am not denying him the privilege. Besides, it will be interesting to see what Billy is all about. 

Now we have the waiting game. I am one of the few people that can party and be on time for an appointment. I am sure he will  be late so I have plenty of time to clean myself up. I wonder what Billy is like. I know he is a pretty horny guy when he is on the prowl. I remember when I talked to him on the phone one day while in Aiken and he was on a date waiting for a guy to come downstairs. He wanted to talk dirty on the phone and I have to admit, I am at my sexual best when I am partying. I don't really feel open when I am not doing any tina. 

Wow, he is three hours late. I guess that is better than not answering the phone at all. At least I got some rest I don't want to seem like some sort of animal when he shows up. I wonder how Mark is doing like I really have to be concerned. He always lands on his feet and give little care about me now that his toy is broken. 

knock, knock, knock

He's here. At least he is a man of his word. I almost stumped my toe while trying to get the door open. My head was down at first. The sunlight almost blinded me. I looked up and he is very nice looking. Highlighted hair, about my height wearing these gym pants and sandals. He was definitely nice looking. It was me I was more worried about. 

"Hi, your Grant right?" He asked me.

"Yeah come on in."

I had no choice but to compliment him. "You are nice looking."

"You are not bad yourself." He said

I have a feeling that he is not a big talker. He grabs my head and kisses me. He is being very rough with me. He is turning me around and rubbing his cock on my ass. He pushes me on the bed and jumps on me. He has me in a bear hug and not letting go. He is wrestling with me on the bed. This is something I never expected. He is a beast. Someone to finally match me on level. He is taking off my shirt with such urgency and passion. I barely can get my hands through the sleeves.

Smack!

He is slapping my chest with his bare hands. Now he is pounding my chest like he is hoping it would hurt but no matter how he hits me, this body was made to take pain. I tried to get up but he pushes me back on bed. He is ripping off my pants. I guess no one can ever say that this guy is boring .