I always thought that when push come to shove, when light comes to dark, I would have the strength to stand up for the ones I care for the most.
Sadly I must admit defeat because I failed my test miserably. The call was mine to answer and when asked for my compassion and help I folded because of anger and doubt.
I didn't know who to believe or what to do because as a man I was scarred and as a human being I was scared.
I did not want to be a fool again as I have played myself so many time in the past.
I wanted to believe that my presence was genuinely regarded and needed but so many flags were thrown in my face.
The truth comes at such a high price and something higher in existence decided that I have not paid enough of my dues to know what is really going on.
Why was there so much doubt in me? Where was the love I always thought I had the strength to present when came the time? Is there still much anger in me I choose not to handle?
The questions plague me but what has been cannot be undone. And I pray for forgiveness in the face living adversity.
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