What a fucking surprise that my silver lining and grey clouds were created and adorned from the same yearning and wanting to be with him. The conflicts that we endured now seem comical as I look at him sleeping next to me but in no way are they irrelevant and in no way can anyone understand the person he is.There are doubts within me about the person that he says he is but the only question I can relay to anyone asking about Mark is; Do you really know him? I know the person that fed me when I had nothing to eat and put a roof over my head when I could not help financially. I know the person that bought my shoes when I wore a hole to soles of my feet. I am not blinded by lust or maneuvered by caution to protect the person that he is.. I am overshadowed in lies and confusion.
I know the Mark that rescued eight people As much as I felt hurt and taken for a fool and played for a sucker don't anyone ever think that the experiences that I went through with this man was not needed, enlightening and life-changing.
I was not even sure I wanted to see him again because of the fear of conflict inside of my spirit that I did not want to admit too. I have felt all capabilities of what this man is and through him I finally reached a point of being more real and myself than I have ever been.
Upon reading this a part of me wonders if you haven't become so much like me that you haven't been able to sit down and rationally discuss your fears and concerns with him. I know from previous experience that you two need a mediator to help keep the situation mellow and on and even keel. Because I was that person quite a few times in the past. I would like to point out that what you think may be lies and half-truths may not actually be. I want to remind you that there are a lot of people out there that don't want you two to be happy or be together. You know that I have supported both of you in your relationship, and I still do, because honestly I don't think it is anyone's business but your own. Further, all the things you have mentioned are true, he did do those things for you, but keep in mind he was doing them for the both of you...you have to realize that he wasn't just doing it out of kindness or pity, he was doing it because he was in a relationship with you and loved and cared about you. I know your confusion and your pain, but you must truly make up your mind what you want to do and how you want to proceed. As I see it you have two distinct choices here: first forget all the lies, half truths, and things you have been told, wipe the slate clean and start over from square one. This means going out on dates and getting to know one another again. You must erase all that has happened between you and begin again, or second you move on with your life, you maintain a semi-distant friendship and talk. Try to remain friends, but agree that your both no longer going to try and date anymore. As I found out with Joe and I, we were much better friends then we ever were as lovers, and I was with him for 12 years. I hope this helps...remember this no matter which way you decide to go or how you want to handle the situation. I have always been both of you guy's friend and will continue to do so and be here for you guys. Call me when you can I would love to talk with you..
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